Anger is a natural and healthy emotion. However, it can appear disproportionate to the trigger. In these cases, emotions can hinder someone’s decision making, damage the relationship, and if not cause damage. Learning to control your anger can limit emotional damage.
Anger is a common response to experiences that are frustrating or threatening. Anger can also be a response to sadness, loneliness, or fear. In some cases, emotions seem to appear from nowhere.
Often feel angry and to some extent can affect the relationship and psychological well-being and quality of life. Suppressing and storing anger can also be bad and long-lasting.
The CNS Spectrums journal reported in 2015 that 7.8 percent of people in the United States experienced “inappropriate, intense, or uncontrolled anger”. This is more common in adult men.
Tools and techniques can help people accept anger triggers and respond more healthily.
In this article, we explore the steps that a person can take at home.
What is anger management?
Anger management involves a set of skills that can help recognize signs of anger and handle triggers positively.
It takes someone to identify anger at an early stage and to express their needs while remaining calm and in control.
Managing anger does not involve holding back or avoiding related feelings.
Overcoming anger is a acquired skill – almost anyone can learn to control feelings with time, patience, and dedication.
When anger negatively affects relationships, and especially if it leads to violent or dangerous behavior, a person might benefit from consulting a mental health professional or attending anger management classes.
However, there are initial and immediate techniques to try. Some people find that they can solve this problem without seeking professional help.
Control your anger
Three major steps to control your anger:
- Recognize the initial signs of anger.
- Give yourself time and space to process the triggers.
- Apply techniques that can help you control your anger.
Recognize the initial signs of anger
At this time, anger can be difficult to stop. However, detecting emotions early can be the key. This can enable a person to direct their thought processes to a more constructive place.
Anger causes physical reactions in the body. It releases adrenaline, a “fight or run away” hormone that prepares a person for conflict or danger.
This can have the following effects:
- fast heartbeat
- breathe faster
- tension throughout the body
- restless, pacing, and tapping feet
- his fists and jaws clenched
- sweating and vibrating
This physical effect can indicate a proportional response to a situation.
However, recognizing the signal early can help someone judge whether the trigger is guaranteeing this physical response.
If necessary, they will then take steps to manage their physical stress.
Give yourself time and space to process the triggers
Buying time can be very basic in limiting angry responses. This can involve simple steps.
When faced with triggers, it might help to:
- count to 10
- take a short walk
- make contact with someone who is not immediately involved, such as a friend, family member or advisor
- can help vocally express the thoughts behind anger to someone who is not the focus of the reaction.
This can help defuse the situation and more clearly identify the cause of intense feelings.
Apply techniques that can help you control your anger
This can help calm a person or distract them long enough to process thoughts constructively.
Different techniques are effective for different people, but finding a successful method can play a role in alleviating extreme anger episodes.
Some techniques include:
- Deep and slow breaths: Focus on each breath as you move in and out, and try to spend more time exhaling rather than breathing.
- Reduce physical tension: Try to strain every part of the body for 10 counts, then release.
- Mindfulness: Meditation is one example of mindfulness techniques, and this will help divert the mind from anger during trigger situations, especially after consistent practice.
- Exercise: Physical activity is the best way to use excess adrenaline. Sprinting or running or combat sports, such as boxing or martial arts, can be useful outlets for aggressive or confrontational feelings.
- Find alternative channels for anger: Can help express anger in ways that limit the danger to others, such as tearing up newspapers, breaking ice cubes on a sink, or punching or screaming into a pillow.
- Make a distraction: Distraction techniques, such as dancing with energetic music, relaxing bathing, or building, repairing, writing, or drawing, can distance yourself from problems.
- When preparing to generate frustration with peers, it’s a good idea to plan what to say. This can help maintain focus and direction in the conversation and reduce the risk of misdirected anger.
Also, focusing on solutions rather than problems increases the likelihood of resolution and reduces the chance of angry reactions.
Sleeping at least 7 hours a night also contributes to mental and physical health. Researchers have linked sleep deprivation to many health problems, including irritability and anger.
Keep an anger diary
Recording anger during episodes and reporting what happened before, during, and after can help people anticipate triggers and deal with them more effectively.
Understanding which control techniques work and which cannot help an individual develop a better anger management plan.
Don’t suppress feelings that encourage anger. Instead, after calm down, express it in a firm and non-aggressive way. Also, keeping a journal is often an efficient channel for this.
Writing can also help someone identify and change thoughts that contribute to disproportionate anger.
It might be useful to change the final thought process or disaster so that it becomes more realistic and constructive.
For example, changing the mindset, “Everything is destroyed” to, “This is frustrating, but a possible resolution” can help clarify the situation and increase the likelihood of finding a solution.
Control your anger in a confrontation
Anger often arises when facing other people about a particular problem, situation, or complaint. Learning to deal with this productively can limit the effects of anger and help resolve the underlying triggers.
This can help to:
- Avoid words like “always” or “never,” which can alienate others and prevent someone from the grip of extreme or irrational anger from believing that a situation can change.
- Releasing a grudge, like holding a grudge can trigger anger, making it more difficult to control.
- Avoid harsh and sarcastic humor, and try to focus on kind-hearted humor, which can help calm anger and hatred.
- Timing is important – if the discussion at night tends to be an argument, because fatigue, for example, change the time this conversation takes place.
- Healthily working towards compromise can encourage positive emotions for everyone involved.